Over the years, I’ve had many conversations with my male friends about what they find sexy in women, and I keep a close eye on the comments.
The list below, and the explanations that come with it, may surprise you. Remember, this is an aggregated list, presented in descending order, and comes from men with diverse personalities and backgrounds.
This may not be a surprise. Surprise is number 10 on this list. Being physically attractive is the golden ticket to entering the hot girls club. How is “physically attractive” defined by men? The way you might think. Yes, that’s a stereotype; hip-to-waist ratio, childish facial features, and symmetry (how proportional a woman is). This physical quality still reigns in a romantic sense.
Approachability Ironically, the more physically attractive a woman is, the less approachable she is. Many beautiful and successful women would agree. It’s not that men prefer flawed women; they’re just more comfortable approaching women who don’t look “perfect,” and because of that, maybe more accepting of them … and their shortcomings.
- Cool personality
While it’s true that men who grow up want cheerleaders/models/strippers, they also value the “neighboring girl,” who has healthy and humble qualities. While spending time with him may feel like time spent with “one of the guys,” he’ll always remind us that he’s a woman – and that’s sexy.
There are several reasons why men want women to be open-minded. The first is that it means he will have different ideas and perspectives, which can be very helpful in building and maintaining a relationship. It also means he can consider a threesome – no matter how unlikely.
Women compete with each other when they are single, and they need to maintain that same competitive spirit while in a relationship. The kind of competitiveness that men find sexy is when our women can identify other hot women, and at their best, their sexiness. In other words, find out what we find sexy in other women and emulate it.
Being with an insecure woman is like being on a slow leaking boat; it will eventually fill with water and sink. So are the relationships that men try to have with such women. Men feel confident sexy – especially in the bedroom.
- Good hygiene
Sexiness is health, and it’s also clean from hair and breath that smells clean to every crevice of a woman’s body. Extremities should be clean and edible during intimate moments, and scents should be evocative and alluring.
Put: nothing is more intoxicating for a man than the vivid memory of his orgasmic lover during his last sexual interlude…except the breaks, he will have with her in the next 30 minutes. Women who know how – and expect – to have an orgasm during every sexual encounter are placed in our sexual hall of fame, where they can only be replaced by… a woman who is more orgasmic.
- Strong sex drive
Given that most men feel that women do not want sex as much as they want, it makes sense that women who want sex will rank second on this list. For a man, a woman who loves sex, it’s sexy, and a woman who loves sex and often wants it is a keeper.
- Comfortable with sexuality
A woman who is comfortable with her sexuality tends to be satisfied with all things sexual. They can discuss sexual desires, experiences, and needs. She has a rare sexual enthusiasm and doesn’t care about her husband’s past lovers because he is competitive (see number 6).
She feels sexy alone, but she likes the sexual attention her husband gives her, and he likes the fact that she is not sexually harassed. He’s comfortable making love in bed or having sex in the car, and he’s not interested in having a philosophical discussion about the differences between the two.
She was so hot, and her husband loved her more for it.
Gian Fiero is an educator, speaker, and consultant specializing in business development, career planning, and personal growth issues.